A letter to the one who is leaving.

Before you go, I hope you know how much I unconditionally love you. There isn’t a thing in this world you could ever do, say or feel that would change my love for you.  There are and were things I didn’t quite like, agree with or want that came with loving you. But love, afterall, is a passion, and passions cease to exist without good and evil intentions. Love always means accepting something into your being, regardless of its dual qualities, for if we focus, the benefits outweigh its risks.

 Before you go, I need you to hear how significant you were and are in my life. Who I am and what I believe in has so much to do with you, as a result of my love for you. I work toward being a better me, because of you. I’ve seen my best and worst qualities during interactions I had with you that have helped me be more mindful of who I really want to be, or not to be. I’ve self reflected on my movements and decisions because you were there to show me the truth about who I was. When I was kind, you were pleased, when I was excited, you were aware, when I was harsh, you were hurt, when I was angry, you were scared, when I was judgmental, you were ashamed. Every time I behaved according to my own feelings, it reflected in you a related manner. You were like a mirror for me, showing me all the things I wished to see, and sometimes even the things I tried to hide. You never let me get away with my unruliness, even when you didn’t punish me, you still showed me in some form that I was being unruly. Whether it be to mimic me or cower from me, you gave me an opportunity to look at my own self and decide if I liked that mask or not. You’ve also constantly challenged my belief about what is and what isn’t by never settling. You moved through life sometimes right next to me and sometimes miles away, and while you were ever present in my mind a certain way, you never ceased to amaze me how you could be many things, even things I didn’t expect or predict. 

Before you go, I hope you’ll grasp that where I am and what I strive for are both a result of knowing you. Every footstep I’ve taken since the moment we met was one with you in mind. Closer toward you or further from you, somehow, you were in the shadows helping me, leading me, guiding me toward my better self. The dreams and goals I have, as well, are a part of my understanding of purpose because I’ve come to understand me, through you. Despite the places we’ve physically been in relation to one another, where you were has sometimes been a starting point or a destination on my own path to my authenticity. 

Before you go, I want to say thank you. There is a sense of gratefulness in my heart very indebted to you. For all that you have given to me and shown me and represented for me has molded me, and allowed me to be me, here, who I am today. While I know that I am not perfect, and have far more to learn, I also know I’m further along than where I would be if it weren’t for you and all the sacrifice you made for me. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to give of yourself, especially when I was who I was yesterday. 

Before you go, I want you to understand that while you are leaving, you’ll never leave me. What I mean is that the energy and conditioning you’ve contributed to who I am will forever be a part of me. No matter what distance, even in death, you will always be woven inside of the intricate fibers of my being. Nothing in this world and nothing beyond it can sever the space we held together. Good, bad and ugly, I want you to feel that I divinely comprehend, you’ll always be a part of me, as well as always take me with you. These things I wanted to share with you, so you’ll know, before you go.