Today I thought about my cousin, who is imprisoned for a crime I am convinced he didn’t commit. He was coerced into a plea bargain by his legal team and took the consequences for someone who is still out there. Either way, he has spent several years behind bars because he was told this would be a much easier punishment than the one he would face should he face a jury and not convince them. I hadn’t seen him since 2008 I think. Eight years. This past February come hell or high water, I was going to see him. And I did. Despite the obstacles I faced trying to get there. 

Being with my cousin for the 4 hours we were allotted was amazing. It seems he is in a crappy place, but not completely, only physically. He still had humor about him and hadn’t let the darkness of what he was surrounded with overcome the light inside of him. Sure, did he complain about the food, YES, and did he also complain that some of the people he had to deal with were just flat out messed up, YES. But his ability to laugh and to enjoy what he was told from the “outside” and to look forward to a hope about the next weeks where he would get a tablet to email and appeal his case again were inspiring to say the least. After all, we all have darkness surrounding us at times. Maybe not as steady as he does, but there are dark presences all around for sure, lurking in the corners waiting to strike on those of us most unsuspecting.

The thing I found most interesting was that in a place where darkness is the reason you’re there in the first place, is that even among that thick consuming darkness, there must be light. My cousin after all will tell you he was a hot head and it was easy to instigate a problem with him because it didn’t take much, but where he is today is an indication that this may not have been the best method for him or others. He was able to see the ere of his own ways and make new decisions day by day to do what was necessary in order to get out of the place of darkness with the least scars and bruises. He was learning change in a place that it’s easy to be “just a number”. If he could do this, why can’t the rest of us? 

I think the path of least resistance isn’t the one we learn the most on. It’s the difficult places, the dark alleys of life where we figure out who we truly are and who we need to be to survive. Before you go judging the officers that turn a blind eye when they get a ghetto district, or the guy who steals to feed his children and shows up to church every Sunday to lead the worship team, remember that we are all just trying to survive. Wouldn’t it be something if we could respect and accept that one mans trash is another’s treasure and one man or creatures attempt to survive can simply be the only way they know how? Wouldn’t it be something if we got all of these different perspectives on the table? And helped one another understand that each of our goals, fears and needs are essentially the same, just with a different mask on. Think about it!

To find out more about a place to learn, speak and listen to these stories: visit sidebarstories.org they are doing good work to open up these lines of communication and help narrow the gaps and fill the space between what we see as darkness and light, black and white, wrong and right.