So here we are in 2016, at the dawn of the love revolution. While there is still an abundance of hate, anger, and fear in the world, it is clear there is some sort of force bringing back the light side with love, compassion, and empathy.

We are hearing about astrological changes, shifts in energy, spiritual awakenings, more holistic treatments in the medical field, in the animal kingdom, and even in our efforts with farming and agriculture. It is happening on t.v. shows and even in politics, love and compassion are making their mark. It is clear that people are finally starting to understand that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Meanwhile, when we are supposed to love everyone, there are clearly people out there that are purely evil, and then those that just want to ignore the elephant in the room. Couples that have been married for more than 50 years typically say the same thing; that the key to a healthy relationship is communication! And it is never over… It’s year after year of putting in work, work,and more work! So during this love revolution, how is it that we can or should handle those that we love already, due to blood lines and marriage certificates, who think completely different than us and just don’t want to get “on board”? A family simply cannot thrive on obligation and guilt. It’s the guilt and shame after all, that brought us to the place of fear, anger and hate in the first place.

We certainly do not want a bunch of people blaming everyone else for their mess, their issue, and/or their inability to solve the problem. What we really need are new group of problem solvers.

Welcome to the real world video game generation!

The young kids today are so shamed and guilted by elders saying that they’re wasting time, just wasting time, but the fact of the matter is that there isn’t a video game known to man that you simply win for showing up, you have to actually participate, compete and problem solve in order to beat the game, beat the system, or beat the guys on the other end of the internet. Problem solving is key, communication is important and focusing on the elephant in the room is the only possible way to make amends or win in the end.

An issue with this is often caused when blame is finger pointed toward anyone else. Blame leads to shame which leads to continued dark forces… Even the blame onto the kid behind the controller. As far as what any of us know for sure, we could all hypothetically be controlled by a person with a controller to begin with. Think,The Matrix. 

My point is that there is a force. Which one? We can’t be sure. There is also a connection to the source, which directs, allows, maintains and balances. Haven’t you ever known someone who should surely be dead, but seems invincible, or someone that should’ve lived forever and didn’t make it due to a bizarre series of circumstances? The coincidences that just cannot possibly be pure coincidence? And I am not saying that you don’t have to put in the work, but first and foremost, figuring out what the problem is rather than who is to blame for it’s creation, continuation or both is futile.

So if it’s all meant to be and all strategically balanced, how do we deal with the difficulties inside our own four walls?

With love? Even during ignorance? Even during the resistance to embracing love rather than shaming others for disagreeing? What about the moment during which they drag you back onto the dark side again?

The answer is yes. With love. Throughout psychology, the study of the mind and behavior, it is clear that modeled behavior is an important key in development. Through modeled behavior, we can teach a dog to drool when it sees the lab assistant or hears the bell of Pavlov’s conditioning experiment or we can observe a gorilla, who associates with humans speaking in sign language, to sign itself for communication. If we want the people around us to behave better, to learn to love and let go, to look toward the bright and not the dark side of things, we must stay in their presence and model this behavior.

So why is this so gosh darn hard? Well, for one thing, those of us that are capable of evolving in this way are typically more empathetic. We not only take on the behaviors, but also the emotions, and conditions of those around us as well. We feed on the modeled and even the unspoken, yet felt conditions, of those that aren’t enlightened yet and sometimes we end up like Anakin Skywalker, falling into the dark side.

There is a solution though. A solution that can progress this movement forward once and for all! Yes, some of us will still fall off, and yes, some will refuse to get on board, but for THE MOST PART, we can do this, we just have to stick together.

A Christian patient of mine, who had become fed up with my previous boss’ behaviors, asked me, “how long can you bask in the darkness before it overcomes you?” I thought about it for awhile. I even considered quitting my job right then.  Much to my advantage in a short time, however, a muscle in my back tore and left me in a new position without having to bask in that particular darkness any longer. Before I got out though, I did do one thing. I found a network of good hearted, loving people and spent as much time with them and in a “love center” as possible. Draining love from my circle of friends and taking it back to my work place, regardless of how dark it was. And you know what? It helped! My boss started backing off and even started asking me about what I was doing different and how he could tap into this place of positivity. He started treating employees and patients and even random people better. He was also really proud to tell me when he would do something good in order to get an “attaboy”, which I willingly gave to him, knowing it would increase his desire to do right, on his own, even when no one was looking. This lasted up until my back injury, and once I was gone, so was his cheerleader, and so was the light that had begun to shine in him.

The same folks that always gave him a hard time and treated him like he was the scum of the earth resurfaced and drug him back down again. I heard about it all the time from my old coworkers. It left me sad and feeling defeated. But the fact was that he was capable. And more than that, so are we.

The answer to this dark force, light force energy balance is in those of us that recognize it exists. We must not be tempted even with family, even with friends, even with the worst influences to step back over the line. And if we do, we have to be the first to turn the other cheek. Regardless of how many times that may happen. We must find a way and a support group to stand our ground. We must also find a way to stay strong when surrounded by, not the enemy, but the not-yet-loved-enough frenemies. Keep them at a distance if you must to recharge, but don’t walk away throwing your hands up in defeat, if you can help it. Take breaks when necessary, but make the connections when possible. Stay out of their face when they screw up and be ready to make a big fuss and throw out tons of attaboys when they show any positive effort at all.

Somehow we ended up where we are despite all the negative conditioning we had. Someone saw something good in us and embraced it even while we were still messy. If we want to move this thing ahead, we have to see it through, stick together and stick it out until the light is brighter than the darkness can stand. Where there is darkness, there cannot be an increase of darkness, unless all of the light is wiped away. Where there is light, darkness may linger, but with enough light, it will be hard to find. Let’s spread love to the world, to our friends, family, neighbors, and even the guy that cuts you off at the supermarket. Let the love and the light shine, and the dark force will be no more. Love. From me to you. And extended to the whole wide world. Love.